Days ago I went to a local mall to do some shopping. As I was walking in the shopping centre, a group of young men (how I wish I could call them gentlemen but they were far cry from that) walking behind me started to give me catcalls. I ignored them and kept on walking but unfortunately the catcalls did not stop, as a matter of fact people started to stare at me so I decided to do the only thing that I thought will save me from further embarrassment I was forced to endure - I slowed down to allow them to pass me by. As they passed, one of them took hold of my left arm and did the Jason Derulo’s Wiggle line on me (Now I don’t have anything against Derulo, as matter of fact, I'm his fan.); and he said, “Damn, gal you have bright future behind you.” Hearing that, I saw red; in my mind I was puffing my chest. If there is anything I can’t stand is a situation whereby a woman is demeaned and worse still, when that woman happens to be me! - I felt so degraded. So what did I do? I gave the guy my most sincere smile, looked him in the eyes and said, “Too bad I can’t say the same about you but then again you wouldn’t know what to do with it!” His response: “Why you tripping, I was only paying you compliment.” I don’t know which was worse for him; his so-called friends laughing at him or me turning the table on him. Of course, I could have brushed off their comments but all it would have done was to put me under further objectification. This incident made me reflect on what women go through every day - Violence Against Women (VAM).
Throughout history, public harassment of women has been accepted and condoned, as matter of fact, women are expected to indulge the humiliation without protest. Most cultures across the globe considered a woman to be a man’s properties and that gave him the legal right to do as he pleases with her; for an unmarried woman, she had her father and male siblings as her owners whilst the married woman was subservient to her husband:
- The Hindus practiced the Sati ceremony whereby a widow offers herself as a sacrifice on her late husband’s funeral pyre.
- In the 18th century, England and America common laws allowed husbands to apply the rule of the thumb. A man was allowed to chastise his wife with a stick no wider than his thumb.
- African and Indian women were forced into marriage and other times, more than one woman will share the same husband. In India, 18-year old Mangli Munda was ordered by village elders to marry a dog in order to get rid a bad-luck curse that's overshadowing her. The girl expressed her displeasure in marrying the dog but due to her culture’s beliefs and customs, the wedding had to take place in order to be free of ‘bad luck’.
- In Rome, both the church and law allowed for women who were accused of practising witchcraft to be burnt alive.
- Some countries still practice honour killings. Women who are raped are usually blamed for bring the tragedy to themselves and also for bringing shame to her family and therefore the only choice is forced marriage to her rapist or to be killed, if she is married and she’s raped by someone else other than her husband then honour death will be her fate. A woman who refuses forced marriage can fall victim of honour killing.
- In October 2012, Malala Yousafzai, a Pakistani human and women rights activist was shot three times by a gunman for advocating for education for girls in her native Swat Valley, where the Taliban have banned girls from attending schools. Fortunately enough she survived and was awarded the Noble Prize.
Most people do not categorise catcalls as a form of VAM but it is – Period! Catcalling is a form of sexual harassment. This behaviour violates women’s dignity, creates humiliating environment for its victim and it also is uninvited and unwelcomed.
... “violence against women” means any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life."
In order to up their sales, more and more musicians have taken to objectifying women’s bodies in their music videos. Many female artists and reality stars are taking off their clothes and flaunting certain parts of their bodies such as bosoms and backsides in order to get more people to pay attention to them. Some celebs have gained fame through the parade of their body parts and this on its own gives out the idea that objectifying women’s body parts is the right way to go about things and as result, it encourages sexist attitudes toward women. We do appreciate the pressure they go through in order to stand out but at the same time, other artists still managed to be and stay relevant in the entertainment industry without ‘selling’ their dignity, a good example is of Adele who managed to win numerous music awards including six Grammy Awards with her clothes still on. Please note that I have no objection to women celebrating their sensuality but where do we draw the line?
Women like Oprah Winfrey, Dilma Rousseff, Geun-hye Park, Indra Nooyi, Mother Theresa, Folorunsho Alakija, and Darlene Zschech gained fame and wealth without taking off their clothes or objectifying their bodies, so what is that they are doing different from the semi-nude celebrities? Because of what they see on TVs, many men believe that catcalls are compliments and flattering to women and without the right message sent out; women will never be liberated from gender-based violence. It is not wrong to compliment a woman on their looks as long as it does not put her in discomfort. The difference between compliments and catcalls is that, compliments uplifts and show women respect whilst catcalls are cheap, disrespectful and violate women’s rights.
Women and young girls need to know that the dignity of a woman is in the way she holds herself – the standards she upholds and men should be taught that a true man is a man who respects women.
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