It's Ok To Just Be Who You Truly Are

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Recently I had an interesting conversation with a friend who also happens to be a colleague. He told me that he plans to move from the city and stay in a farm in the near future. He mentioned that he needed to get away from the sham that most people in our city are living. I agreed with him. Yes, most people here are not true to themselves, as a matter of fact, most people across the globe do not really know their true selves because they have never met their ‘real’ selves.

Most people, more especially the youth, live their lives trying to please their ‘friends’; they spend money unnecessarily; they want to be seen in fancy cars they cannot afford, designer clothes that are out of their affordability. I'm not saying it is wrong to have ambitions but it is wrong not to be realistic when it comes to important issues - issues that concern one's life.

The so-called friends are the very people who in future will be leading the mass that will be laughing at them when they find themselves in trouble. These kinds of ‘friends’ are only there when times are good and easily disappear when tribulations come knocking. They are bad influence and will easily find it right to fund your path to self-destruction. I had a talk with my best-friend the other day and she told me about one of her friends; she told me that the lady’s friend is always ready to give her money to buy alcohol and go clubbing but if she ever tries to borrow money to do something good for herself, this friend snubs her and refuses to help.  She however pointed out this pattern to this lady and asked her if that is the kind of person she can say that tomorrow when she is in trouble she can rely on.

In order for us to acknowledge ourselves, we need to take stock of the people we surround ourselves with; are there to add value to our lives or they are like parasites? They suck the lives out of our souls? Are they appreciative of our individualism or they want us to be imitations of themselves? Do they allow us to be who we really are or they chain us to their idealism of who we should be? Can we put our lives in their hands and trust that they will see us through it all or are they poisonous to us? Once these questions have been honestly answered, it will be easy for one to make informed decisions regarding those they let into their inner circle.

The youth of today have made it almost mandatory to validate their lives based on their friends’, colleagues’ or even strangers’ lives. They are afraid to get to know themselves because most of the time they find out that who they really are will be rejected by the crowd. What they don’t realise is that, most of the times, the gang leader is probably not happy with their lives and the only happiness they get is when they make other people’s lives miserable.  

Like counterfeit money, you can only trick unknowing victims to believe that it is the real thing but to a trained eye, it is easy to identify the forgery and once that happens, it is just a matter of time until everyone else know about one’s faux living.

To get rid of the feelings of inadequacy and self-shame, the individual have to internalise oneself. First they need to accept that they existence is not a mistake and that they are unique – they can never be the same you nor the same me that is why it is okay to be yourself; to be different.  If it means seeking professional help in order for one to learn to accept and love themselves then they should do so and the sooner they make the decision, the faster they will be able to embrace their true self and find inner peace which will lead to them being content with whom they are. It’s a simple equation; find inner self, fall in love with your true self and it will be easy to know your dreams and follow them.

Sometimes we lose ourselves in the dreams that other people have of us.