Violence Against Women - A Case Study

Image Credits:flickr.com/Steve Hammond

Introduction

Everyone was talking about it, well, almost everyone. In fact, they were not talking per se, they were sneering. I mean she is the one who put herself in that situation in the first place. If only she had listened to him and had not provoked him; she was the one to blame and now the poor man was harassed by the police. Women nowadays ask for a lot, why couldn’t they just shut their mouths and raise children like they are supposed to? This equal rights issue was ruining ‘our’ women, it was ruining African women – the Western men have left their women to disrespect them and now they want to spread the decay into the Motherland continent? These were questions men asked during their drinking sprees and women who had nothing except sitting under trees all day long gossiped about.

Dorcus or MmaDineo as she was affectionately called by her eldest child’s name as a sign of respect in our culture was our neighbour. Growing up, I was used to her affectionate and contagious laughter that could be heard from afar. She was a gentle soul and the kind of a person who cheered people up even during devastating times. Everyone loved her, everyone except the men she dated. She could not keep a relationship, every man she was with always left her for another woman but they all made sure to leave her with a farewell gift – a child. She had five babies by four different men and none of these men was man enough to take care of their child so as a result, she had to work countless hours as a house help to put food on the table.

As time went on, lady luck seemed to remember MmaDineo and came knocking on her door in the form of Kitso, a miner in the local mine. Kitso was a true Prince Charming, he cared for both MmaDineo and her children and never raised his voice at her. He was the kindest being MmaDineo has ever come across. He was what she needed; more especially that he could help to take care of her and the children financially. He asked her to quit her job which she reluctantly did but she had no reason to be worried, after all, he was taking care of her financially. 
Months into the relationship, Kitso started coming late home from work and whenever he was home, he will emotional abuse her: always found something wrong that MmaDineo has done then he will put her down and in the process, making her feel horrible about herself. He will come in the middle of the night and sexually forced himself onto MmaDineo and other times, he will bring other women and sleep with them in front of MmaDineo. He refused to give her money to buy food and household items - she had to rely on monthly food ratio that her youngest child got from his monthly clinic checkup.

He apologised every time after the outbursts and promised to never repeat them and told her that he loved her but he never kept his word because after a day or two, he will be back to scolding her. She somehow believed and hoped he will change, that he was going through something that will be sorted in time and that they will be back to their happier times. She was ashamed to tell anyone her problems, after all, she was taught from young age that 'A strong woman is the one who wears her problems inside and never let the world know about them.' Only the abuse did not stop there, he started to shove her then it moved to random slaps across the face.

People in the neighbourhood were aware of what was happening in MmaDineo’s household but no one took a stand, even those she had helped during their trying times. Kitso was the head of the house and whatever he said, it went, they said to one another. Every time they heard MmaDineo screaming for help, the neighbourhood women will within a blink of an eye gather together and start whispering; ‘What have she done now to incite Kitso?’ , ‘That woman is so ungrateful!’ , ‘I heard that she told Kitso that she’s not willing to share him with other women! The nerve of that woman; who does she think she is? We share our men with other women but does she see us complaining, huh?’ , ‘Well, if she doesn’t want him then she should pass him to me because right now I can do with a man who makes money of his own.’

One day, MmaDineo was listening to a radio programme when she heard about a place for women like her; women caught in abusive relationships. She went to the Shelter for Abused Women where they helped her to file a case of domestic abuse against her partner but after some coaxing from Kitso’s sister, MmaDineo withdrew the case.

MmaDineo asked Kitso to move out and this made Kitso angry that he broke into MmaDineo’s house one night, sexually forced himself onto her then started hitting her, punched her in the face and then threw her on the floor, he then mounted on top of her and punched her all over the face and gut and when he thought she was dead he left. She was found unconscious by one of the Women's Shelter volunteer who had come to check on her. She was taken to the hospital. She later opened a case against Kitso and also applied for restraining order against him which was granted by court.

My dear reader, now that you have finished the above story, I would like for you to take a moment and reflect on the story characters and ask yourself which one do you identify yourself with:

• MmaDineo (the Victim) – Are you caught in an abusive relationship?
• Kitso (the Perpetrator) – Are you victimising your partner?
• The community (the Bystander) –Do you know anyone who is going through an abusive relationship and you have chosen to look the other way or talk about them?
• Kitso’s sister (the Perpetrator’s Supporter/Accomplice) – Do you find yourself defending the perpetrator’s actions?
• The Women's Shelter/The Volunteer (the Victim Advocate) – You make your stand against women abuse and you give your shoulder to the victims.

Whatever character one associates themselves with, the fact remains that we all have to stand against women violence and when one finds themselves in approval of this crime, they need to reflect on their principles.

Aware Helpline in Singapore ad Poster ("Verbal abuse can be just as horrific. But you don’t have to suffer in silence.")

Unfortunately, unlike MmaDineo, not all women are lucky enough to escape domestic abuse – some women have paid with their lives. According to the findings of the report, ‘Global and regional estimates of violence against women: prevalence and health effects of intimate partner violence and non-partner sexual violence’ carried out by the World Health Organization in 2013, as many as 38% of all murders of women are committed by intimate partners and that 7% of women have been sexually assaulted by someone other than a partner worldwide. The widespread of unequal rights and women discrimination across the globe have been the fuelling factors in violation against women, both at home and in the community.

Other findings of the WHO 2013 report are:

• 35% of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence;
• Almost one third (30%) of all women worldwide who have been in a relationship have experienced physical and/or sexual violence by their intimate partner;
• 38% of women have experienced intimate partner violence in some regions.

Without realising it, communities have contributed to unequal power between men and women; they have made violence against women acceptable. Any wrong in couple relationships is normally attributed and blamed on the woman and the male partner’s actions are never questioned.

The discrimination against women definition according to the African Charter on Human and Peoples' Rights on the Rights of Women in Africa:

Discrimination against women" means any distinction, exclusion or restriction or any differential treatment based on sex and whose objectives or effects compromise or destroy the recognition, enjoyment or the exercise by women, regardless of their marital status, of human rights and fundamental freedoms in all spheres of life"

Women are subjected to public humiliation if they do not live up to the ‘perfect’ partner image and made to believe that they are worthless if they find themselves in failed relationships. Some women are raped by their partners but are too ashamed to report the cases to the relevant authorities or if they do, they usually withdraw the cases due to intimidation and victimisation from the perpetrator’s friends and relatives friends or even the woman’s. This stems from the belief that marital rape does not exists and therefore even if a woman does not give consent for sex, their partner can have their way with them as long as the woman and man are married or in a relationship. A forced sexual intercourse is simply that – forced sexual intercourse and can never be excused for anything. To avoid stealing the survivor's’ dignity and humanity, communities need to support, protect and empower and not oust.

Most African countries, more especially the ones in the north region such as Algeria, Nigeria, Sudan, Morocco, Egypt and Tunisia are still yet to recognise the importance and support for equal rights for women.

The African Development Bank's (AfDB) The African Gender Equality Index 2015 places the African countries (in order of achievement) in top 10 overall performance:

• South Africa
• Rwanda
• Namibia
• Mauritius
• Malawi
• Lesotho
• Botswana
• Zimbabwe
• Cape Verde
• Madagascar

 The Millennium Development Goals' Goal 3 and Gender Equality

In the Millennium Development Goals which was signed by 189 countries in September 2000, under Goal 3 - Promote gender equality and empower women, the countries committed themselves to ‘Eliminate gender disparity in primary and secondary education, preferably by 2005, and in all levels of education no later than 2015’

The question that arises is how much of MDGs Goal 3 have been achieved?

According to the UN Women, ‘Gender parity in schooling worldwide is closest to being achieved at the primary level; however, only 2 out of 130 countries have achieved that target at all levels of education. Globally, 40 out of 100 wage-earning jobs in the non-agricultural sector are held by women. But women still enter the labour market on an unequal basis to men, even after accounting for educational background and skills.’

The Secretary-General of United Nations in the Commission on the Status of Women report, states that, ‘While the three indicators under Goal 3 reflect important dimensions of gender inequality, the narrow focus of Goal 3 fails to address such critical issues as violence against women, inequalities in the division of unpaid care work, women’s limited access to assets, violations of women’s and girls’ sexual and reproductive health and rights, and their unequal participation in private and public decision making beyond national parliaments.’

Way Forward

“There is one universal truth, applicable to all countries, cultures and communities: violence against women is never acceptable, never excusable, never tolerable.”

United Nations Secretary-General, Ban Ki-Moon (2008)

The society needs to come together and condemn and abolish all practices including the traditional ones that endanger the well-being of and discriminate against women and girls. Women and girls should be protected and nurtured at all times.

Countries should enforce laws that strict and inhibit all forms of violence against women including physical abuse and close any opportunity for perpetrators from coerced women into sex.

Societal norms and stereotypes, cultural beliefs and practices discriminate and stigmatise against a girl child as from an early age, boys are given more preference over the girls consequently legitimising, tolerating and perpetuating the never ending cycle of violence against women. The society needs to be educated in the importance of treat and value both child genders equally in order to eradicate and uproot factors that deprive women equal rights with men at an early stage.