Women Should Help Each Other

 There is a special place in hell for women who don't help each other.

- Madeleine Albright

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When Taylor Swift quoted Albright (she credited it to Katie Couric though) in her interview with Vanity Fair, after the gag Tina Fey and Amy Poehler made at her expense during the Golden Globes, most people might have taken her speech lightly but the thing is, this quote could not be far from the truth. But in Fey and Poehler’s defense we can say the comediennes were just doing their job – making jokes with no intention of offending anyone as they later claimed. But that’s another topic for another day.

Professional successful women usually do not take it to a newbie trying to ‘steal’ their spotlight. Most women have to fight and work ten-times more than their male counterparts in order for them to succeed in any profession dominated by men and so they tend to feel that other upcoming women should go through what they went through if they are to make it to the top. They feel that helping them up might soften them and as such they might not last longer at the top. This, even if it is intended well, is far from the truth – women at the top should leave the path they have paved on their way to the top visible for other women to follow so as to balance gender load in the managerial positions.

Some women are hell-bent on undermining and being catty with others and not for the reason mentioned above but due to the fact that they feel a species of the same calibre, in this instance, another woman is only there to compete against them. In their minds, another woman who joins the game is an enemy and as such, should be done with. They would rather unfairly support a male colleague just to despise and see the dismissal of the ‘foe’.

Another example of catty and unnecessary catty remarks is of that of the former Californian Republican Senate candidate and former Hewlett-Packard CEO, Carly Fiorina, regarding her Democratic opponent, Sen. Barbara Boxer. Instead of her attacking the Democratic based on her political history she attacked her rivalry’s hair, “God, what is that hair? Soooo yesterday,” was her unguarded comment when she thought her microphone was off.

However, I had not kept those dreams to myself… This woman wants exactly what men want and are allowed to have without anybody even thinking about questioning their capabilities... These are the problems that ambitious women in the world over always encounter… The thing to do is never to be apologetic about it. You will sometimes feel alone and hated, but that comes with the territory.”

Madam Speaker, Sir! Breaking the glass ceiling: one woman’s struggles by Margaret N. Nasha. MP, PH.

Even in domestic and private lives, women still find it hard to work together in harmony. It is actually rare to hear a woman saying they get along with their mother-in-law or vice versa. As a matter of fact, they will rather fight hard to tear each other down or make each other to be a monster in the husband/son’s eyes.

Jealousy, rivalry and resentment amongst women have really made it hard for them to break-even in the predominately male environments. Women do not realise that, most men prey on their weaknesses and use their same-gender enmity against them in order to continue dominating the leadership and managerial positions. Women tend to attack other women’s looks and will even resent another woman for her good looks whilst men do not take other men’s looks into consideration when competing for the same job (unless of course if they are in the fashion industry). Most women are usually intimidated by an attractive woman’s looks than by their social skills and capabilities.

This kind of women has the Mean Girl syndrome – bullying, demeaning and belittling other women and throwing pointless tantrums. The Mean Girl usually have psychological issues including low self-esteem that they need to deal with otherwise they will always try to make themselves feel better by being rude and disrespectful of others. They are the very people who fuel the stereotype that professional women are spiteful.

At the same time, it should be appreciated that there are women out there who use their looks and bodies to climb the corporate ladder but at the same time it should be emphasised that not all women are like that. This kind of behaviour should be frown upon and pruned as it does not give the clean impression that many women have fought for – that women are capable of doing the same jobs that men can do. It is of good advice for women to give each other the benefit of doubt before they bully each other.

Sadly in other instances, women tend to underestimate themselves and opt to giveaway their power when it comes to negotiating their advancement. They would rather avoid the confrontation that comes with wanting to achieve one’s desires more especially if that individual happens to be a female. They take the keep-your-head approach and let opportunities pass them by; it is of great value for women to learn to use their work experience to sell their capabilities and advance themselves in their careers.

Way forward

• Women should setup strong and active network groups to help and encourage each other. They should also be supportive of each other and be willing to share success tips, ideas, opportunities and business advices as it is with no doubt that the support any woman gets from other women can prove to be invaluable at any given time.
• Social media platforms can be used to connect women from across the globe so as to enable them to come as one and tackle problems that are unique to women.
• Women need to realise that the motto, ‘United we stand, divided we fall’ applies to them as well. A woman who has the support of other women is stronger than any situation that men will throw at her. Success will come to women who practice feminism than those who want to adopt the ‘masculine’ approaches.
• From an early age, women should be taught to form their own network of personal Board of Advisors. These are the people that have their best interest at heart and are to be trusted to always give them sound and genuine advice than those who will feed them sycophantic counsel and celebrate in their fall.
• Each woman should learn to surround themselves with successful people and how to be better role models for one another. They should also know how to stand their ground and at the same time handle themselves with grace and dignity when they are being bullied.